Materials & Prep
Prepare the board or projector with the opening scene, model sentences, three practice prompts, and the revision checklist below. Give each student paper or a writing notebook. No special materials are needed.
Opening: Infer the Feeling
Display“Maya dropped her ice cream on the sidewalk. She stared at it, kicked a pebble, and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.” Read the scene aloud. Students silently write or draw the feeling Maya might have and circle the words that helped them decide.
Turn and talkStudents tell a partner, “I think Maya feels because she .” Accept answers such as sad, disappointed, or upset when students support them with the details.
ConnectExplain that students figured out Maya’s feeling without being told directly. Writers can give readers clues through what a character does, says, thinks, or notices. Introduce the term showing a feeling. Today, students will revise sentences that name a feeling so the reader can see evidence of it.
Mini-lesson and modeling: From Telling to Showing
Display“She was sad.” Ask students what the sentence tells the reader and what it does not tell the reader. Briefly record the common response, “It tells the feeling, but not what the character did.”
ConfrontWrite “She was very sad” underneath it. Ask, “What new evidence did the reader learn?” Students should notice that very changes the strength of the feeling but gives no clue about how the character feels. Emphasize that adding an intensifier is not the same as showing.
Think aloudModel this revision: “After her friend moved away, Nora folded the birthday card into a tiny square, slipped it into her pocket, and sat alone at the end of the table.” Say, “I need to keep the feeling from the original sentence in mind, but I will not simply repeat sad. I will choose actions a reader can picture. Folding the card tightly and sitting alone suggest sadness. The most common mistake is choosing a bigger feeling word instead of adding evidence.”
AnnotateUnderline “folded the birthday card into a tiny square” and “sat alone.” Label the first as an action and the second as an action or body clue. Explain that the details show sadness because they fit the situation, not because any single action always means the same feeling.
Worked exampleModel a second revision from “Luis was nervous before the soccer game.” First show the weak revision, “Luis was very nervous before the soccer game.” Then revise it to: “Before the soccer game, Luis bounced his knee under the bench, rubbed his sweaty palms on his shorts, and checked the scoreboard three times.” Think aloud that the knee, palms, and repeated checking give observable evidence. Do not add details that merely make the sentence longer.
Guided practice: Build Evidence Together
Display“Jamal was angry when his brother broke his model.” Ask students to suggest one action, body clue, thought, or line of dialogue that a reader could observe. Reject suggestions that only intensify the feeling, such as “Jamal was extremely angry.”
Model a turn: Say, “I might write, ‘Jamal shoved the broken model across the table and clenched his fists.’” Have students explain which details show anger and why. Add one class-generated detail if it is specific and fits the situation.
Check for understandingGive students two choices: “She was very worried” or “She read the text message three times and kept twisting the strap of her backpack.” Students hold up one finger for the sentence that shows the feeling and two fingers for the sentence that only tells or intensifies it. Ask two students to explain their choices using the word evidence.
ScaffoldKeep this frame visible for students who need an entry point: “When , the character , , and .” Students may choose from the word bank: actions: paced, pushed, hid, stared, gripped; body clues: shaky hands, lowered eyes, tight shoulders, a racing heart; thoughts or dialogue: “What if I fail?” “Leave me alone.” Students may dictate a sentence to a partner before writing it.
Independent writing and partner revision: Show the Feeling
Have students revise at least two of the following sentences. They should cross out the named feeling when possible and replace it with two or more specific clues. They may add a short situation if the original sentence needs context.
- “Priya was embarrassed when she gave the wrong answer.”
- “Marcus was excited about the surprise.”
- “Elena was lonely at the new school.”
Display the checklist: “Can the reader picture what the character does, says, thinks, or notices? Did I add evidence instead of only writing very, extremely, or really? Do the details fit the feeling and situation? Did I use precise verbs?”
Students write their revisions independently for six minutes. Then partners read one sentence aloud and identify the exact words that show the feeling. The writer revises once more if the partner cannot point to two clues. Partners use the frame, “I can see the feeling in the words and because .”
CirculateListen for students who write “She cried because she was sad” or similar sentences that repeat the feeling without developing it. Prompt them to replace the second feeling word with an action, body clue, thought, or line of dialogue. For students ready for a challenge, ask them to show one feeling without using any emotion word and to make the feeling less obvious, such as changing excited to eager or embarrassed to uncomfortable through carefully chosen details.
Closing check: Individual Revision
Exit ticketRevise this sentence so it shows the feeling: “Theo was nervous before reading his writing aloud.” Students must write one complete sentence with at least two observable clues. They may use actions, body clues, thoughts, or dialogue, but may not solve the task by adding only very, really, or extremely.
Collect the exit tickets. Look for a sentence that communicates nervousness through specific evidence, such as “Theo rubbed his palms on his jeans, reread the first line three times, and held his paper so tightly it crumpled.” Ask two volunteers to read their revisions, and have the class name the evidence rather than merely naming the feeling.